


Cliff's Edge

by quinship



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, F/F, Makeup Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:35:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinship/pseuds/quinship
Summary: Sara goes to Tegan's hotel room to confront her about some things that happened during the keynote.





	Cliff's Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this was inspired by a post from tumblr by the awesome quincindentaldreams, who, in addition to giving me the go ahead to write this, also agreed to beta this fic if i put smut in it (which i obviously did) so please go check out Waves Know Shores if you haven't already. Or, you know, go ahead and read it again.

Sara was relieved to find the hallway was empty as she knocked on Tegan’s hotel room door, four floors above her own. She’d hoped that the room would be empty, save for her twin because she desperately needed to talk to her and was too tired to make much small talk with anyone else. She’d spent hours rehearsing what exactly she needed to say as she removed her makeup and changed into her pajamas. Sara knew all too well that this would just bother her until she finally said something.

For example, she might have a dream about the situation she was in with Tegan, which could potentially turn into a nightmare and throw her off course… even more so than she was already. So it was best to talk about it while Sara’s thoughts and feelings were still fresh and alive in her mind, especially since this had been building up for a while—something she’d realized earlier that day. And with the build-up of this knowledge, she stood here in front of Tegan’s hotel room door; bathrobe over her pajamas, socks on her feet, bra under her top, and glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. She hoped she looked like she meant business.

“What?” Tegan said with an irritated sigh, upon opening the door and finding her twin on the other side. Her hair looked wet from a shower, and she was clad in sweatpants with a lounge T-shirt that clung to her curves, making it excruciatingly obvious to Sara that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She observed the effort that Tegan would have put forth to be cordial to anyone else, but that wasn’t the case with her sister at this moment. Sara watched the energy leave Tegan’s body; escaping with the sigh she’d let out upon greeting Sara.

“Are you alone?” Sara asked, crossing her arms over her own chest, as though it was her who wasn’t wearing a bra. She swallowed, standing up straighter and squaring her shoulders. “I want to talk in private… alone.”

“About what?” Tegan stepped back, holding the door open for Sara, obviously reluctantly. The giant suitcase lay open on the floor of her room, and Sara’s eyes were immediately caught by the articles of clothing that she knew weren’t Tegan’s as she stepped into the heated space. And with the sound of her twin closing the door behind her, for the first time in much too long, it was just the two of them.

“Why are you being like this?” Sara inquired, turning to face Tegan.

“Like what?” All it took was a look in Tegan’s eyes to know that she was aware of exactly what Sara was talking about, but was simply playing coy.

“Come on, Tegan,” Sara said, sounding as tired as she felt. “Pushing me away. Both literally and emotionally. I know both of our girlfriends have been around a lot lately, but it seems like you haven’t even wanted to try. I want to know why.”

“I’m not pushing you away.” Tegan’s eyebrows were furrowed in agitation.

“Stop it,” Sara snapped. “You were literally moving me away from you the entire keynote, the thing about me keeping two steps away… Putting me down… I know that stuff is supposed to be a joke, but it’s not funny to me Tee. Yeah, I laughed, but I had no other choice, with us being in front of all those people. I sincerely hope you noticed that I wasn’t treating you the way you were treating me.” She clenched her jaw, tension building on her shoulders at the building argument.

“I don’t see what the big issue is. We don’t have to be right next to each other all of the time, and the jokes are just an older sibling thing because after all, we are sisters. That’s the type of thing people expect from siblings. I’m not your girlfriend, so why should I have to  act like it?” There were a few meters of space in between them. And judging by the tone of Tegan’s voice, she really didn’t feel like having this conversation.

“The issue is that I’m not ok with you pulling this shit.” Sara pointed out, running her fingers through her hair. “If I’m in on it, it’s a joke. If you’re just throwing this at me, then you’re being a dick.”

“Then just tell me to stop if it bothers you so much. Jesus, Sara, you don’t have to be so fucking dramatic.” Tegan let out a huff of frustration and sat down on the bed and crossed first her legs and then her arms, the latter seeming like a partial effort to control her braless chest.

“You know I can’t just tell you to knock it off in front of everyone. That’s why I’m telling you to cut it out now, Tegan. I love you, but this can’t keep happening... I’m tired of it. You’re constantly making me feel like shit, and of all people, you are the prime example of someone who should not be doing that.” Sara explained, her words quick and heated.

“What? Oh ok, I get it. So I’m supposed to be all sweet and touchy-feely all of the fucking time? That’s pretty fucking selfish of you, Sara.” Tegan’s voice was as bitter as a ginger root, practically spitting each F-bomb, when just months ago, they had still been so perfect with each other. Where had this come from? Was this because they were living in the same vicinity again? Sara thought that they’d talked enough about it and had mutually decided they were ready for that step…

“That’s not what I said, and you know it,” Sara said, quickly defending herself.

“I’m not always in the mood to have my lips glued to your ass. It’s like you’ve gotten weaker and thin-skinned. And like it’s all about you and your feelings all of the time. You only care about what makes you feel bigger, but nothing is ever good enough for you, huh? You’re always complaining about something and nothing is ever up to your standards. You can’t just be happy with what you have with me. I’m always too touchy or too mean. Not everything is about you, _Sara._ ” Tegan’s words seemed all over the place, so Sara decided that Tegan was just saying whatever came to mind, using the tactic of talking for as long as possible in order to simply shut Sara down and exhaust her to the point of giving up. But that wasn’t going to work this time.

“Tegan, calm down and talk about this with me like an adult. I know something’s wrong. Please, just tell me what it is. I don’t want anyone to walk in on us arguing.” She pleaded, wishing Tegan would magically be rational when in argument mode.

“That’s fucking rich, calling me immature. You’re such a fucking hypocrite, you know. You want something, but not like that. You want that, but not like this. You don’t want me to be affectionate, and you don’t want me to be a regular fucking sister to you.” Tegan’s voice was increasingly growing louder and angrier, but Sara wasn’t afraid; not in the least. “And god forbid people see us acting like regular sisters. You used to want that to happen, but now it’s like you want the world to know we’ve fucked. Good thing there’s no photo or video evidence; you’d probably upload it to PornHub and broadcast it to the world and then get angry at people for looking… because nothing is ever to your liking. I can’t even look at you.” She made a face of exaggerated disgust and stood up and strode towards the window to glare out at the city of San Francisco, looking past the raindrops on the glass.

Sara felt a little lost. She didn’t know what Tegan wanted, or what she was trying to say, but it couldn’t be that difficult to figure out. “Ok, it seems like you’ve got some pent-up resentment going on there—” She began, ready to go through a path of deduction, but her train of thought was interrupted.

“Oh great, now you’re making assumptions in the most condescending way possible.” The sarcasm and anger in Tegan’s voice were biting. It was safe to say that she was trying to hurt Sara, but she couldn’t figure out why.

“I wouldn’t have to try to do this if you would just tell me what the issue is!” Sara hissed through her gritted teeth.

“I already fucking told you,” Tegan grumbled.

“What do you want from me, Tegan?!” Sara asked, frustrated. She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders slumping wearily.

“I want you to leave me the fuck alone, but it doesn’t look like you’re going to go away anytime soon.” Tegan’s arms were still firmly crossed and hadn’t budged.

“You know what? Fine. I’m going. I do not have to deal with this bullshit. Let me know when you want to act your age and actually talk this through.” Sara turned around and made a couple of steps towards the door. She just wanted to go to bed at this point. Maybe things would be better in the morning... Maybe they were both just tired.

“Wait,” Suddenly Tegan’s voice changed. It was a palette of desperation, fear, worry, and the cousins of those emotions.

“What now?” Sara turned around to face her twin, having given up.

A part of her wanted to throw her hands up and cry when she saw the expression on Tegan’s face. God, what did Tegan even want? She looked like she was afraid of Sara leaving, but she had just said that she wanted Sara to go away.

“Please stay,” Tegan begged, with only two syllables, both whispered.

“Oh, Tegan.” Sara sighed. However, her exasperation froze, and her love and care for Tegan drove her to reduce the distance between them. Anyone else and she would have continued on out the door. “What do you want me to do?” Sara asked softly, still exhausted.

Tegan wouldn’t meet her sister's eyes, but her hands twitched like she wanted to reach forward and was stopping herself. It was clear to Sara that her equal wasn’t going to be making the big moves at this time. So, Sara pulled Tegan gently into her own arms, giving her the hug she seemed to want, but was apparently holding herself back from executing.

“Please, just tell me what you’re upset about.” Sara murmured in Tegan’s ear. “Nothing will be fixed if you don’t tell me, Tee.”

“People noticed how affectionate I was being during the tours… And you were making incest references, but I thought that you weren’t ok with those, so I wanted to make sure that they wouldn’t have any credibility, and you were just being so… so fucking frustrating, and I was starting to resent you because it feels like I’m being put through the ringer…” Tegan whispered her waterfall of words almost inaudibly, as though if this information were heard by even a stray fly, they would be in danger. “What if they suspect…”

“Shh, it’s going to be fine,” Sara promised soothingly. “That’s what you were worried about? That’s why you were acting like that?”

“Yeah…” Tegan replied in a small voice.

“Oh, Tegan.” Sara let out another sigh. “You should have told me. I’m sorry I confused you like that.”

No answer.

“How long do we have until someone might interrupt?” Sara asked.

“Like an hour… There’s a get-together going on in the bar that everyone went to, which should give us an hour at least... We’re safe from anyone else interrupting…” Tegan reported.

“Go lock the door just in case.” Sara let go of Tegan and watched her twin do as she was told, coming back into her proximity with quiet steps. Sara pulled their bodies together by gently taking Tegan’s hips in her hands. “I love you, you know that, right?”

Tegan nodded, staring into her eyes. So Sara kissed her lips, which were in an almost-adorable anxious frown. They were a million times softer than they looked; something Sara always knew, but it was always better experiencing than remembering. This time, their kiss was soft, and Sara pulled away gently to make eye contact and take Tegan’s face in her hands to kiss her on her forehead.

“We can talk further when we’ve both rested. Obviously, we’re both tired. But right now, we can do anything you want. Where do you want to stop?” Sara inquired.

“I just want to feel you touch me all over,” Tegan answered, desperation still coloring her small voice, but this was different. There was no fear laced in her words this time. Tegan seemed to just want to lose herself in the sensations of her sister’s touch for the time being, and Sara was fine with that. It had been a very long time since they’d last had sex or even kissed, and maybe this would relieve some of the tension between them… Sex almost always did.

Sara responded by kissing Tegan again. Her mouth trailed down towards Tegan’s neck in quick, light kisses, careful to leave no marks for prying eyes. Sara’s hand made its way into Tegan’s hair, almost cradling her sister’s head. Her other hand traced down Tegan’s body to her hip, where Sara moved under her twin’s clothing to feel her warm, soft skin. She pushed Tegan backward towards the bed, and then pushed her onto the white duvet by the shoulders, and then backward so that she was laying back on the bed. Sara shed her bathrobe as Tegan scooted backward, propping herself up on her elbows.

Deciding to leave her glasses on, Sara straddled Tegan around the hips and connected their lips once more, watching as her sister lifted her upper body enough for them to get her T-shirt off together. Sara’s fingers traced the goosebumps that erupted, and she kissed bare skin exposed to her. With a soft little exhale from Tegan, Sara looked up and moved to hover over her sister’s willing body, lightly pressing her forehead against her twin’s. They stared into each other’s eyes, letting the moment pass to get the point of their adoration for one another across.

 Again, Sara captured Tegan’s lips with her own, taking her wrists into her own hands and pinning them above Tegan’s head; eliciting a needy whimper and a buck of her sister’s hips. Sara pulled away, her eyes drawn back to the hazel depths beneath her.

“Do you want me?” Sara asked, her voice deep with need. They had been in this position countless times before, and the view beneath her was pristine every single time. Sara could feel her underwear dampening against her burning skin.

“Yes.” Tegan pleaded, her voice almost a whine, which made Sara want to tease her until she was a whimpering puddle, but they wouldn’t be taking that route, given the situation.

Sara kissed her pulse point, her fingers tracing down the sensitive skin of Tegan’s forearms, all the way down to her ribcage. They kissed again and once their lips parted, and Sara took her twin’s nipple into her mouth, tongue swirling around the hardening bud. Soft noises of pleasure arose from Tegan’s throat.

The sound of Tegan begging for Sara to move lower made her lift her head and make eye contact again. Without tearing her gaze away, Sara dipped her fingers under the waistband of Tegan’s sweatpants. She placed a kiss on Tegan’s stomach, and slowly removed her twin’s pants and underwear in one swift go. Once the articles of clothing were on the floor, Tegan sat up and helped Sara unbutton her pajama shirt, casting it to the side; her bra soon following suit.

Their lips crashed together, causing Sara’s glasses to fog up, but she didn’t take them off. Instead, she lay Tegan down on the bed and knelt between her spread legs, hands lightly gripping the insides of Tegan’s soft fleshy thighs as she began to go down on her twin. Her tongue flicking against Tegan’s clit slowly and sweetly, making Tegan have to work to stifle her moans and fight to not move too much against the teasing motions.

When Tegan seemed to be trying to trap Sara within her thighs, she knew it was time to carefully fill Tegan’s pussy with two gentle fingers. She paid extra attention to Tegan’s g-spot and steadily brought her to the edge. With a particularly loud moan that brought forth the flushed redness onto Sara’s bare chest, Tegan came, pulsing around her sister's thin digits.

She sat up, withdrawing her fingers carefully from their home, and lapped the juices from them as Tegan came down from her climax and caught her breath.

“C’mere,” Tegan requested, beckoning with her fingers as she sat up. Sara moved towards her, and they kissed when they were close enough. “Do you want me to…?” Tegan offered in between kisses.

“Yes, please,” Sara whispered.

Tegan’s hand slipped down Sara’s pajama pants, and their bodies pressed together as they kissed, Tegan’s fingers curling and working hasty magic between Sara’s legs.

As she approached her orgasm, Sara pulled away with a gasp, eyes screwed shut in concentration and head tilted back, mouth open and eyebrows drawn tightly together as the pleasure racks violently through her body. Tegan kissed her blushing bared neck as she provided the release of the wave of pleasure crashing over Sara.

Upon opening her eyes, Sara saw Tegan in front of her, sucking on her wet fingers.

“I love you,” Sara reminded Tegan. Her voice didn’t have to be so quiet, being that they were still alone in this room, but the otherwise silence around them sure was convincing enough to bring her voice down to a whisper.

“I love you too,” Tegan replied once she removed her fingers from her mouth. “I’m sorry I…” She trailed off, seeming to have trouble gathering her thoughts.

“Not tonight,” Sara said, smiling wearily. She kissed Tegan’s cheek. “We’ll talk later, that’s good enough for me.”

“Okay, I can manage that.” Tegan smiled, looking relieved and glowing in her post-coital state.

“I should get going… I’m tired.” Sara remarked, getting up and putting on her discarded clothes.

She handed Tegan the ones that had been removed from her body and found a fresh pair of underwear for both of them from Tegan’s black suitcase on the floor. Once Sara was dressed with her soiled underwear tucked protectively into her robe's pocket, she placed a kiss onto the top of Tegan's head, and then another on her lips before going moving out of the room and to her own hotel room where she collapsed on the bed. She stared up at the ceiling. Sure, she’d accomplished only part of what she’d set out to do, but perhaps space and time would prove to be helpful and get them back to where they were only months before: happy with one another and their relationship thriving. She could only hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to let me know what you think... This kinda drew some influence from personal experiences, so yeah.
> 
> I haven't been able to write very much lately (and therefore unable to post) and i hate it, especially because my life has been Stressapalooza the past couple weeks, and will continue to be through next week due to school stuff (senior year in IB is literal hell). But i promise i have stuff planned.


End file.
